The Race to Christmas

While you are out running errands on Sunday Dec. 4 stop by and see me at my friend Aisha's holiday craft sale between 2 and 4 at 11616 Cobblestone Landing Court, Glen Allen 23059. I'll have some birds and owls for sale for your tree!

I finally saw The Race to Nowhere. The problems the film highlights are overwhelming and complicated, the consequences heartbreaking. It left me feeling helpless, like moving to NYC to enroll my kids at the school the Blue Man Group guys started, www.theblueschool.org. I have this feeling that what so many kids in the film were looking for is meaning in their lives. Part of that is what you are supposed to be doing as a teenager, struggling with identity and purpose. But it seems as if we are pressuring them to already have the answers instead of helping them navigate the journey. One of the things my husband and I are struggling with is how do we teach 'meaning' to our children? Some of us find this meaning in religion, politics, shopping, online, sports, sex, or time spent with friends or family. (Some of those examples may be more pertinent for self knowledge and growth than others.) My children are happiest and most fulfilled when we connect and engage in activities together. Things like cooking, working in the yard, constructing, playing sports, or taking an art class together. I think this is when they are figuring out what their 'meanings' are. (Keep in mind this is coming from the perspective of someone who toys with the idea of homeschooling if I could stand the stress of my kids fighting and didn't have some stuff of my own I want to accomplish. I believe in public school, and isn't 'homeschooling' what I've been doing for the past 8 years anyway on some level?)

Our preacher said recently that the use of anti-depressants is up something like 400% since the 1980's. So it's not just our kids that are searching for meaning or finding it difficult to hold on to. I cut a John Updike quote out of magazine recently and taped it to my cabinet, "Most of American life consists of driving somewhere and then returning home, wondering why the hell you went." This quote seems especially pertinent this time of the year. Do I really need to make a special trip for the $26-a- bottle eye makeup remover from Nordstrom that won't dry out the area around my eyes? Won't she be ok without that 10th gift this year, are they going to count and compare? To teach my children how to create meaning in their lives I need to model it I suppose, like everything else. I used to be much more concerned with what I was wearing, if the house was clean, is the food good enough. But the older I get the more I cherish the simple act of just being together. So this holiday season I am going to let go, slow down, live in the moment, and just enjoy my family and friends. Even the fighting. After I run out for those last few gifts.